Tag: criticism

The Criticism Of Others Is A Valuable Treasure

The best “How To” guide for the ministry I have ever read is the book of Proverbs. I truly believe pastors should read Proverbs every day and find at least one “next step” every day. Our ability to lead well would be greatly enhanced by this practice.

Today is not the 25th of the month, but I am going to make an observation from Proverbs 25 anyway. Verse 12 says this:

Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.

I have only ever owned one gold ring. It is precious to me. Several years ago, I was on a youth mission trip and was playing an old African drum with my hands. Suddenly, my wedding ring flew from my finger… in two different directions. I was devastated. No earthly possession was more important to me and now it was destroyed. (read to the end for the conclusion of this story)

A gold ring (or other gold ornaments) is valuable because it is created from precious metal. The reason my ring was so important to me was because it represented my relationship with Marianne. Gold is not at the heart of this proverb. Value is the primary idea.

Solomon (the author) is telling us that we must place a HIGH VALUE on those who are willing to reprove us.

“REPROVE” = reprimand, rebuke, reproach, scold, admonish, chastise, chide, upbraid, berate, take to task, rake/haul over the coals, criticize, censure; 

If someone is willing to correct you or warn you that you are headed in a bad direction, don’t ignore them or attack them. Value that correction! We do not gain a great deal of wisdom from those who tell us we are doing everything right. We gain wisdom from those who tell us we need to change.

In Ephesians 5, Paul says to PAY ATTENTION to how you fill your life. He challenges us to walk wisely. Solomon makes it clear that a wise walk places a high value on those who challenge us to be better.

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In case you are wondering, the reason my ring broke was because I had spent so much time that summer in swimming pools (I was a youth pastor and a father of young children). The pool chemicals had exposed and then exploited a tiny weakness in the metal. I was able to get my ring repaired and today it is as good as new and as precious as it was the day Marianne put it on my finger.

The Post-Sermon Play-by-Play

Every so often I have a Sunday morning experience that I am quite certain is not unique to me. I call it the “Yes|But”. Anyone who preaches on a regular basis has probably tasted the “Yes|But” at some point in their ministry.

The “Yes|But” sounds something like this, “Pastor, I agree with what you said, BUT…”

Sound familiar?


Before you decide I’m being overly critical of the “Yes|But”, please allow me to finish. I have discovered that the Yes But can teach me a great deal about the words I just spoke.

Sometimes, when confronted by the “Yes|But”, I find myself feeling defensive. I immediately begin planning my response. I look for ways to show the Yes Butter that they are clearly in the wrong.

You can be certain that this response clearly indicates that the words I just preached were not God’s, they were my own.

The more defensive I am of the words I preach, the more likely it is that they reflect my ideas, not God’s.

Sometimes, though, when confronted with the “Yes|But”, I don’t feel the least bit defensive. Sometimes I feel quite peaceful, and sometimes, I have found myself feeling a genuine concern for the spiritual journey of the person speaking to me. When I don’t feel the need to defend my words, it is likely that they were really Gods words.

The beauty of speaking the Word of God is that I never have to defend myself. As long as I can say, “I am simply preaching directly from the Word of God”, I never have to worry about the “Yes|But”. I can always respond (at least in my mind), “you don’t have to agree with me, but please make sure you aren’t disagreeing with God.”